It sounds awfully spiritual, but not to worry, it is quite practical if you sense into it.
Do you know these situations where you tell yourself ‘today I’m going to bed on time!’ and end up staying up late again?
Everybody has such situations where you say you are going to do one thing, and you know this one thing is the best thing to do and still you don’t do it. It’s like the moment the clock strikes 0:00, all of a sudden someone else is making the choices… it operates with an artfully convincing motivation why the agreement with yourself is less important than finishing this last conversation with your friend, the last beer in the pub, the last show on TV or Youtube video on your computer…
Of course the day after you feel tired, everything seems to be against you and you are angry with yourself for not going to bed on time.
It’s an internal game between different parts of yourself. The explorer, adventurist, pusher in you wants more, more, more… more experiences, more money, more happiness, more love, more confirmation, more success … Out of habit we give in to this urge of more and more…
And while we jump from one rock to the next to become satisfied, life is moving on, years pass by and slowly we become tired and we lose our determination to reach for a happy fulfilling life… slowly we lose the belief and willpower to keep going for what we desire most…
Some people get burned out, some are very successful in what they do and realize they still are not fulfilled so they continue on their path but more vigorously…
The mind always goes for more fulfillment as long as you are unconscious of the forces inside.
So what is fulfillment anyway? It rules many people’s lives… what are we talking about?
The Cambridge Dictionary explains it like this: ‘Fulfillment is a feeling of happiness because you are doing what you intended to do in life’.
This sounds great, right? And do you notice something about this definition? … it doesn’t speak about an end goal. It doesn’t say ‘Fulfillment is a feeling of happiness because you achieved what you intended to achieve in life.’
So fulfillment is more about the process and less about achieving.
The path is primary, the destination secondary. The path, the here and now and the continuous journey of change and development is all we have… the achievement is nice, but it is nothing compared to the hours, days, years, lifetime of experiences living up to that point of achievement. And as you know, after you’ve achieved one thing, the mind rushes in to create a new point at the horizon to work towards.
Fulfillment happens when you do what you intended to do… now the question is, what am I intended to do? Right?
Where do you go if you want to find out what you are intended to do? Your parents? They taught you their version of what you were intending to do… Teachers? Peers? Your boss at work? Your spouse? Leaders in your line of interest? Where to go for directions…?
Many people, including myself, are influenced by all these parties… And if you follow them, you can go totally crazy… one person says this, another person says that… and let’s say in one instance you follow one person and at another instance you follow the other, how does it feel? Do you experience the feeling of happiness, the feeling of fulfillment?
Nope, you might have less external conflict, but the internal conflict is intense. Tension in the body, pain in your back and your stomach, depression, low on energy, agitation, sleepless nights etcetera etcetera …
So what to do… what queue to follow?
The internal voices
If following others is not the answer, we’ll have to take a look inside ourselves. Inside a lot is happening. We started with conflicting inner voices about the time to go to sleep… Between who and who else is this conflict?
The mind is like a shapeshifter. It voices different parts of who you think you are. And all have their own truths and their own agendas. It is exactly like listening to all those external folks… but now you are listening to all those internal voices… Well good luck finding peace there…
Okay so ultimate peace cannot be experienced listening and following people around you, neither can it be experienced listening and following the different voices inside. Those internal voices are usually copied from external people anyway…
The authentic voice within
What do you witness if those internal voices are ignored? What else is there…?
It’s silence and peace, the body relaxes as soon as you become aware of this dimension, you become aware of the body and all that is right here and now. Bodily sensations become noticeable… A practice related to this is for example mindfulness. You are focusing the beam of your attention not on the mind but on anything else here and now… like the body, sounds, touch etc…
So what is your authentic voice? This is quite hard to explain so let me start with a practical example.
Let’s say your partner asks you to go to a birthday party with him or her. What happens right before you start pondering about it? If you are well aware of what happens in the body, you’ll notice either a No, a feeling of heaviness ‘no, I don’t feel like it’ or a Yes, a feeling of excitement, a lively energy.
After this mostly energetic physical feeling-experience the mind sets in and the different parts start to talk and intervene with this pure sense of direction coming from the body. It might say ‘I ought to come along or else we’ll end up in a fight again’ or ‘Man up and just do it! It’s part of the game’. And sometimes as a counter, your mind looks for motivations why not to go to motivate and strengthen the feeling of not wanting to go. For example ‘No, I’m not going, I’ve got so much to do’ when that was not really why the No came up in the first place.
And according to which influencer you give the most power, you’ll do what you do…
Let’s say your underlying gut-feeling said ‘No, I don’t want to go’. How does it feel to do Yes? Think back of a situation where you felt No and did Yes… Tension sets in in the body, insecurity, feeling like a victim, agitation, feeling like you are forced to do what you are about to do… This tension is a sign of your body that tells you, you are working against your innermost truth!
The innermost truth, your authentic voice, doesn’t argument its Yes and No… it is just there as a feeling sensation in the body. If a choice is motivated, just like in the example above, it is internal manipulation coming from the mind. The authentic voice communicates one thing, the mind communicates another and motivates its point of view by arguments to convince you to do one thing or the other.
This intuitive authentic voice is not against the logic of the mind. It uses the logical part of the mind to analyze the situation and get a clear, neutral full picture of all the important rational variables. It is aligned to what simply is, the highest truth… just like the answer to the question what your favorite color is… it is what it is, it is factual at that moment… no arguments needed pro or against… life is simple, keep it simple…
If you start listening and acting more in line with this intuitive felt direction, instead of giving in to the minds political fear based bias, you’ll experience more and more peace, trust, safety and simplicity. If you surrender more and more to this silent voice, you’ll get more and more in harmony with yourself, the simple and factual direction felt in the body.
It is subtle at first. And every time you listen, surrender to it and act in line with it, it becomes more and more obvious, life becomes easier, more fluent, in connection with a deeper, more natural sense of self, synchronicities will happen more often and you’ll feel more relaxed and happier about yourself and your life. At the same time, it will be feeling heavier and heavier to go against your own stream. You’ll start noticing more and more going against your authentic voice is an act of violence against yourself… forcing yourself to do things that you know more and more clearly aren’t the right thing to do. It isn’t the purest embodiment of your essence.
So what steps to take now?
Underneath the steps to become more aware of the authentic voice.
- In a situation where a choice needs to be made, become aware of the body, ask the question and witness. Sense the body, feel the Yes or No in the gut. And translate that for yourself in a Yes or a No. It’s a Yes when it fires up some enthusiasm, curiosity, love, space, relaxation, inner freedom. It’s a No when it starts feeling heavy, low on energy, contracted or tired. As soon as it is complicated, you are stuck in the mind again. This is a real simple and direct process. It is just a sense in the body…
- Then notice the mind… notice its activity, listen to it. How does the mind intervene with the inner sense of truth with arguments for and against?
- Feel the tension resulting from the conflict between your innermost truth coming from the authentic voice within and the protective mind. The mind is fueled by past experiences, voices of other people and fear. Witness its pulling, convincing arguments and the related fear sensations in the body
- Then make a choice
- if you make a choice contra your innermost truth, notice the tension, maybe sadness, disempowerment, coldness, resentment. If you make a choice in line with your innermost truth, notice what happens… it might intensify fear from the mind for a bit. This is what usually pulls you back into the influence of the mind and its fear scenarios and you might change your choice again. Yet also notice the freshness, well being and the love for choosing for yourself. Now you are brave enough to stand up for your authentic voice.
Act in line with your authentic voice, although it is scary, although the mind voices become restless… this is what people refer to when they say ‘believe in yourself’… follow your innermost truth anyway. You as Consciousness, are training the animal mind to stay put…
Become more and more aware and learn to trust that it is alright to follow what simply feels right to you. Start doing it with little things, like birthdays, food, bed time and then move up to more important things, like your relationships, your work, your habitual activities etc… is it in line with your innermost truth? Is there a Yes or a No? Becoming aware of your intuitive gut feeling, fed by information from the rational mind will result in a higher sense of fulfillment, more inner-peace and inner-strength, more self-confidence and love and a more relaxed and truthful relationship with yourself and the people around you.
Lots of success surrendering to your innermost truth and living your peace.